WHAT ???

Yahoo News --- 04/25/2009
An Associated Press-GfK poll taken in October 2008, just before Barack Obama won the election, found that just 17% of Americans thought the country was headed in the right direction. Today, as Obama's 100th day in office approaches, that number has jumped to 48%.

Just who did they poll?? I can get do a poll of 1000 people that can't smell and they will tell me that S*$# doesn't stink... and get figures like this... does this make it true???? I think not...

Sure if I were in the hand out line I would sing his praise also... but I WORK.. I PAY TAXES… things are not good... plants are closing over day… people that WANT to work are out of work and those that chose not to work just sit back and sing songs of joy... it's a great life... my checks keep coming in...

Things are not as good as he that thinks he can walk on water would have the foolish to believe… THINGS ARE BAD AND GETTING WORSE…

BLUE

Tonight is one of those nights where I just feel hurt. It's a hurt I can't explain. Tonight I was suppose to meet some friends at the waterfront and after I got there I had to leave. I just didn't like being around people... I never got to see them. I'll have to try to explain it Monday.

There's times I feel like I'm on top of the world and then when I try to enjoy the feeling it's like I've stepped off the world into some deep hole.

Tonight the house is so quiet..... as it is every night, but tonight it's like I can feel the silence yet as bad as it is I don't want to talk to anyone... I don't want to be alone, but yet I do want to be alone. I know this all sound so crazy.. yet it's how I'm feeling.

Most of the time all I want to do is stay home and shoot pictures of the birds.... and be alone...

I hate this feeling...

Up Early Again

Well, I'm up early again this morning. Don't let the post time fool ya... It was another 4am morning for me... hahaha

Today I'll be shooting pictures of peoples pets, dogs that is, for a benefit fund the hospital has. I've never done this kind of shoot before, but it can't be any worse than shooting a wedding or babies. hahaha I'm always ready to get behind the camera and dog show sounds like fun.. now tomorrow I may write something all together different like --- what the He@@ was I thinking when I signed on for this... hahahhaha

I just wish the weather looked better than it does this morning. I'm afraid it's going to be storming by lunch and that's when the show is to begin.

Anyway that's what I'll be doing this afternoon. With that in mind I wanted to use a picture today of Maggie. I lost little Maggie a year ago. Melissa got Maggie and then I kinda got her. She was always close by me when I was home and many years ago when I couldn't sleep she and I would go in the living room and she would be by my side while I sat and read all night. I could not have had a better friend.

Now I've got Lucy and Cody to keep me company. Lucy is like middle age and Cody is still pretty much a puppy... full of life. Cody just kills me the way he likes to worry Lucy. Lucy will roll her big black eyes around at me as to ask.. what should I do Dad? ... I tell her to jump on him... hahaha

I know a lot of people don't like dogs, but when I come home from a real bad day at work it's nice to have them meet me and to love and want to be loved on.

Well I'm going to start getting all my camera stuff together... i just hope the weather doesn't get bad this afternoon.

Maggie --- I'll always remember you little girl...

Can't Sleep

Here it is a Saturday morning and I'm up before 4am. What's wrong with this? For some reason my mind just want slow down and allow me to rest.

What am I thinking about... I'm not sure and as for as I can tell nothing really, but there's got to be a reason for these onsets. I truly wish I knew why and how to fight these feelings.

Maybe it's my little world I live in. The little world of make be leave where I have no problems and everyone is always happy and then when the real world begins to encroach into my space I'm awaken from the dream or maybe it's that I don't have this little dream world that I can escape to.

I worry about things I have no control over. I worry a lot about Mary. I think she feels like she has to be just like her sisters and in most ways this isn't a bad thing, but in one aspect I feel like she is making the wrong chocies. What do I do? I try to talk to her, but I'm afraid if I say to much it will drive a wedge between us and she will for sure be in trouble.

I feel like the kids want me to do things that I really don't feel like doing, but here again what do I do? I want them, the kids, to be happy, but at what cost to me. I hate to say it but I truly don't know what it is to be happy anymore. Oh I put on a good show, but deep down there's no spark. My friends at work talk about the fun they have over the weekends and I envy them. They don't know what they have and I hope they never will find out how it feels to lose the spark of life.

I've got so much and I'm truly thankful for it. I don't mean to sound like 'woo is me' it's not that way. I love my family and enjoy their company, but there's just things I feel they just don't understand and they don't understand how some well meaning things hurt me.

There's things I would like to do, but yet I can not seem to find 'the will' to move on it and yet I know everyday I don't is one day less I'll have to try. To me there's nothing more fun than that of being behind a camera. I can sit here for hours shooting pictures of the birds in my backyard and I think having a studio would be the greatest thing in the world, but with the way things are in the world now I dare not even try something like that. Besides it seems everyone loves my work, but only to the point to where it's worth "free".

Oh well I've sat here and went on now for almost 45 minutes with out saying anything. I guess when you're a Dad the worring never stops, as your kids get older you just worry about different things in different ways.

Very UPSET

I read something today that really upset me and I'll share it here now:

FOXNews.com
Thursday, April 16, 2009

Georgetown University hid a religious inscription representing the name of Jesus during President Obama's address there Tuesday, FOXNews.com has confirmed, because White House staff asked the school to cover up all religious symbols and signs while the president was on stage.
The monogram IHS, whose letters spell out the name of Jesus, and which normally perches above the stage in Gaston Hall where the president spoke, was covered over with what appeared to be black wood during the address.
"In coordinating the logistical arrangements for the event, Georgetown honored the White House staff's request to cover all of the Georgetown University signage and symbols behind the Gaston Hall stage," university spokesman Andy Pino told FOXNews.com.

Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, accused the university of "cowardice" for acceding to the White House, and criticized Obama's team for asking a religious school to "neuter itself" before the president made his address.

We, the United States, will pay for this and the due date is close at hand I'm afraid. All the things the United States was built on is being torn down. Obama may talk a good game, but this act today just goes to show how he really feels. We better take a long hard look at Matthew 10:33- Jesus speaking - "whoever shall deny Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven. I would take what Fox news reported today as Obama denying Jesus and with him being the head of the goverment he speaks for all of America right? Think about it when an CEO speaks, he speaks for the company and even thro most of the employees may disagree, his words and actions are what are reflected back on the company.

When America falls and all the rich are no longer rich and in power I hope they will remember who they voted for. Obama is not and never will be the savior nor does he or will he ever walk on water as many think he already can.

Easter Sunday

Here it is Easter Sunday and true to form it's been cold off and on all week and I mean COLD some morning.

Today will be the end of Mary's last high school Spring Break. Looking back over the past 12 years I can't believe she will be a SR this year and that Gage will be starting school this fall. I told Melissa that I guess next year I would have to take the whole week off so Gage would have someone to stay with... Dang it's a bad job being PawPaw.. hahaha

Well James and Ryan are moving up within the hospital system. I'm very proud of that fact. I remember years ago trying to move up and it was like every time I tried to take a step forward some how someone would knock me back 3 steps. I kept telling both of them over and over to hang on and not to give up. It took me 9 years of hard work to make it into programming, but I did. It's kinda sad to be on the short end of things now... after almost 33 years at the hospital I see what I hope will be a long and fulfilled retirement in view, but it's still hard to give it all up... the feel of being needed (used maybe a better word). Guys, I wish you both the best of luck and if I can ever do anything for you all you have to do is let me know.

Yesterday while I was sitting here I saw this little bird, a Painted Bunting. This was the first time I had ever seen this little bird so I went to eBird to log in my sighting and to see how many times it had been spotted in Jackson Co and for this year it has only been reported 3 times. Twice by the same person and location so I guessing they saw the same bird twice. I get a lot of enjoyment out of watching the birds and trying to shoot pictures of them. One just never knows what may show it.

Also yesterday I started working in the garden. If dollar weeds were flowers I would have the best flower bed in Pascagoula. I bet I dug what felt like a 100 pounds of the weeds up yesterday and still have more to go. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to get out of bed this morning, but some how I did... hahaha

Well I guess I've run on here long enough... long enough for Cody to eat thru my printer cable anyway... that puppy...

Another Sat morning

Here it is another Saturday and I was up by 5 this morning again.

Yesterday was Good Friday and Lauren was off and I rode with her to Mobile to get Brody cut. She wanted him to look good for the dog show next weekend. Lauren kills me... hahaha

Gage called me yesterday morning as they were coming across the high rise bridge. He was wanting me to look at the sunrise with him. He was telling me how pretty the colors were. I had to tell him that PawPaw couldn't see the sunrise down here because it was so cloudly. Some day I hope he'll tell his grandkids about how he would call me on the way to school and tell me about the sunrise he's seeing. It just makes my day when he calls me. Noah is talking more and more. Melissa and the boys come by one day last week and she said as soon as they turned on my street Noah got to saying PawPaw... hahaha

Last Saturday I helped Elaine shoot a wedding. It was very smiple and short. The wedding started at 4 and I was home before 8 and the weekend before I shot pictures at Camp Bluebird. That was the most rewarding weekend for me and next weekend I'll be shooting pictures of dogs.. hahaha the things I get myself into.

The picture for today is of Cody... my new little dog... he is so full of life. Well maybe something exciting will happen today.. hahaha

WHY?

This afternoon around 3pm I'll be waiting for a Dad to walk his little girl down the aisle and her Mom will be crying tears of joy and not so far away another Dad will be walking his little girl to her final resting place and her Mom will be crying tears of pain. The little girl was the daughter of an old friend I lost touch with may years ago, but I still remember at one time she was special and I guess we will always remember our first puppy love girlfriends / boyfriends.

When I talked to Mom last night and she told me about this I just wanted to go out and hug my girls and tell them just how special they are to me. I can't think of anything worse than losting your child no matter what their age is. I went out on MySpace and sure enought she had been there the day she passed away. What touched me was her had put her mood as "crushing,BAD " so I take it she had a boyfriend. We just never know what our kids are going thru. My heart just goes out to this family today.

Wet Friday

It's been a long morning. Storms rolled in about 3 this morning and woke me up then Cody wanted to play. Cody is my new puppy.

I'm off this morning to take part in Camp Bluebird. I've been asked to be thier photgrapher for the weekend. I just hope I can hold up. When the cancer center first opened I was assigned to it and the reports I was having to do just got to me.

Well just wanted to leave a note as I haven't written anything in a while.

I'll write about the camp later.

When your child hurts

I can think of no worst pain than that of a parent of a hurting child. It doesn't matter how old your children are or what the pain is the feeling of being helpless on my part just goes straight to my heart.