The Heart of a Child

The sunrise this morning, April 15, 2011. I was just about to leave for work and looked out and saw this shot. I know I've said it before and will more than likely do it again many times, but I try to see things that others miss... anyway..

The sunrise here is like that of a child's love... even the dark and fog cannot keep their love from shining through...

This afternoon I was sitting here going through the papers on my desk trying to clean it off some, but I think that's going to be a lost cause also... and came across a little note a very special little boy left for me. It was written on one of my darkest days by someone that loves me without question and to him I can do no wrong. The little note was written on a piece of a pocket tablet and said this.... Melissa had come over to check on Lucy and Cody for me.. I was with Mom and Gene taking care of Dad's arrangements.

"From Gage" (with 2 sad faces one small and one larger) "I (drawn heart) you" ---- On the note there were 3 or 4 pieces of clover he had picked as flowers and put on the note.

To say he understood everything I would have to say not really, but he did understand that his Mom and Paw Paw were upset and in his little way he wanted to let Paw Paw know when I got back home he was thinking about me.


Melissa said that when Noah got upset she had him wipe the tears from her eyes and this helped him. A child’s heart is so full of pure love.. I do think they learn how to love from us... and here they were returning love to us in their own way... while trying to figure out just what’s going on with Mom and everyone else.


Hillary Clinton liked to say it took a village to raise a child... I think that's what's wrong today, to many people that's not family... It takes a FAMILY to raise a child... to teach them, but more over to show them how to love... These two little boys 6 and 3 have touched me in ways that just go beyond words. When they tell me they love me and hug me… they mean it with all their little hearts...

Being PawPaw is the best thing in the world and I leaned it from the BEST... you're missed so much Dad...

The Shroud of Silence

When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal. ~Author Unknown



Beyond the clouds the sun still shines, but for me here on Earth my heart is covered with dark clouds.  I went home this past weekend to check on Mom and Gene to say it was hard would somehow be an understatement.  I could see the hurt in Mom's face and my heart would almost fall apart, but somehow I kept it all together for the most part.  I just wanted to hold Mom and cry with her, but I tried to keep a happy face as much as possible. 

In a way I know how Mom feels... the silence... that's got to be one of the worse things I've ever felt... when just days before there was sound and now there's just that dreadful silence...

I hate the silence... the silence lets my heart feel the hurt again... over and over I live the pain.... when will it stop... when will the clouds break and the sun shine again?  I feel as thro the sun will never shine as bright as it once did... I believe the dark clouds of silence dims our view, or maybe covers our eyes with a film that we can't strip off so our world is never as bright as it once was.