“Over time, loneliness gets inside you and doesn't go away.”
~ Carlos Ruiz Zafón
I think there comes a time when you reach that point of no return… I think it is called the “event horizon” in black holes. It’s at this point there’s no escape, you are pulled in and nothing ever comes out again. I really didn’t know just how close I was to my “event horizon”. I had gotten where I would get upset at the grandkids over nothing. That’s not me… that’s not the person I want to be.
Last weekend, June 30, I asked my oldest daughter if she and the grand boys would like to go out to eat and spend the day. As it turned Lauren and little Charlie went also. We spent the whole day together. McKenna and Charlie played so hard in the little people section and Gage and Noah got to play with the big things. Ever now and then Noah would check on me and the little ones…
When I finally got home that night I was so tired, but yet I felt better than I had in a long time. Then yesterday Mary had McKenna’s second birthday party. Again I was with the grandkids and the girls and again I felt alive again. Five little hearts just wanting my attention and 3 very precious daughters will to put up with me.
Loneness doesn’t just happen over night… it easies it way into our lives and before long we really have no life. We become bitter and worse of all we hurt the very ones we love the most. It may be a battle, but at least I know what I’m fighting now and knowing that helps.
