Grandkids --- what a joy

Taken at Disney World Oct 2008, by Melissa

I think one of greatest joys, other than rasing my own 3 daughters, is watching my grandchildren grow up. I enjoy seeing and watching their eyes as they do something new for the first time. Everything being new to them and so excting.

Yesterday was Jonathan's birthday, so we had a little party last night. When I walked through the door little Noah came running to me and put his little arms around my neck and gave me a big hug. That's what it's all about. This is something that must be earned.... the love and trust of this little boy. It's something no one can force him to do. This is love it it's most purest form.

I'm very luckly to know how it is to have parents and grandparents that loved you. I got to spend all my childhood around my grandparents. I truly miss them as much today as the day they left this world. I wish they could see the legacy they left and the impact they had on my life. I'm doing all I can to keep their memory by telling my girls and grandkids about them. I just hope some day that my grandchildren will look back and smile when they think of me.

Time has such a way of just slipping away. Here it is almost Thanksgiving and Christmas is just a few weeks more away. I'm afraid I don't make the best use of my time and every day I regret something I didn't do the day before. What's really makes me feel bad is the fact that I've reached my peak and now I've made the turn and it want be long I'll be in the home stretch.

All my life I've always wanted to be a photographer. I don't know what the problem is. I feel like my work is good and that I know the tech part of it, but for some reason I just can't get the business. At lest 2 or 3 people as asked Lauren about me shooting their wedding, but I never hear anything back. I was so hoping to maybe retire from the hospital at 35 years and open a small business. Now I think it's just one of those dreams I have..

While I'm talking about photography.... Gage is beginning to enjoy it. I've got to get some of the pictures he made at Disney World and post them. What really got me was what he told his Mom, Melissa.... Melissa told me that Gage wanted to take some pictures and she gave him the camera and he looked at her and said, "I'm just like PawPaw".... These few words just made my heart light up... Never think they aren't watching you... their little eyes see everything and hear every word.. Guess what Santa is going to bring him.... you guess it.. He's going to get a real camera so he and I can go shoot pictures together....

Well I'm going to go for this morning... the wind is blowing hard outside and the temp is falling. Looks a lot like rain... oh well didn't have much planned anyway.

The Dreams Again

I knida felt like this picture was me last night. The dark edges and light center. I truly hate nights like last night.

The dreams were back last night. It felt like every time I would go to sleep I was being transferred to another place and time.

I was around people I had not thought or since I was in high school and in some of the dreams I did not even know where I was or who the people were.

In most of the dreams I felt like I was in some kind of danger, that something bad was about to happen to me or the people I was suppose to know in the dream. I remember one part where I received a phone call and the caller told me something like... 'I told you not to let him go in there' .... I remember it was my cousin who I haven't seem or talked to for years the caller was telling me not to leave him alone. I had this feeling of dread... that something was going to happen. It all felt so real.

The other dreams I can't remember as clearly, mainly because there wasn't anyone in them that I was suppose to know I guess.

Maybe it's stress... maybe it's the fact that the holidays are almost here. The fact is I don't like the holidays. Guess there's all kind of reasons for this, but I just can't stand them. It's the most depressing time of the year.

Well it's off to my real nightmare (work) ....hahaha

Monday Again -

Shot this picture yesterday while out with Jonathan and the grandkids, Gage and Noah. Jonathan said he thinks it's whats left of an old tugboat. As one can see Fall is coming to South Mississippi. The leaves are beginning to fall off the hardwood trees in places. This place was so pretty and I only carried my long lens so I couldn't really get the shot I was wanting.

I'm not looking forward to today at work. I've been gone for a week and I know the e-mails are there waiting on me. Well there're just going to have to wait.

I think I wrote that I had been out to Texas for a Pharmacy Reoprt writing class. The class was good and I enjoyed it. Guess what I liked best about it was just getting away for a few days.

Yesterday Melissa, Jonathan, Gage, Noah, and Mary all ate lunch with me. This was the first time I've cooked lunch since before Lauren got married. I had forgotten had hard it was to get everything done and on the table by the time church was out.

After lunch the chruch was giving Lauren a shower so Melissa and Mary went back up there and Jonathan and I took the boys riding. Jonathan likes to take me on the back roads and show me things like this old boat. To say the least it was fun having the kids over and spending time with them yesterday.