Clouded Dreams

Sunday morning and it looks so bad outside again today.. Yesterday it rained and I really wasn't able to get out and it made for one more long and boring day.  I did sit down yesterday and put together my first photo book... My Coast, My Home. It was my first attempt and I think my next one will be better now that I kinda know how the software works.  The only thing is the darn things are kinda high.  I wish I could get a few of them for some very special people that that has always believed in me and my dream...

I joined the gym via the hospital and it has really made me feel better in a lot of ways --- yet... there's a part that that kepts asking quetions and keeps me asking 'when will it be my turn".  There's times I feel as thro I'm just a place holder or maybe a safe haven.  In my heart of hearts I feel that this is just an over sight that I'm not really being excluded on purpose, but what ever ... it still kinda makes me feel bad.  I also want to know that I'm needed. 

 I keep dreaming, but there's always a naysayer that shakes me from my slumber and so goes my hopes and dreams... I feel that someday that the clouds are going to part and the light is going to shine through... when just when...   

Spring where are you?? I need to get out of this house before I go over the edge and lose my mind for sure... hahaha... I know some people that would say it's to late-- I've already lost it... haha