The Old Doorknob...

I got to shoot a wedding last weekend in an old church... from what I could tell from the records I saw it was built somewhere around 1856 and 1860... no matter it's still old.. and it was so pretty.. very small oh.  Well I didn't know my way around the building so I went through one door only to find this old doorknob... to most it would have been just that an old doorknob, but I saw something it... and it was only today that I found out what this was all about.  I did download the picture and stored it for use in my blog at some point in time, but it became clear to me today that this was the right time.


I started this blog for no other reason than to just to put my feeling on paper so to say... a way to try and make sense of things going on with me that I had little control over, but had a way of shattering my very being.  Well today I found out there was a bigger reason for my scribbling than just to help 'ME'.  Today I got a note from someone telling me that they had been following my blog and for the first time they felt like it was ok maybe let your guard down, to have a melt down, and also to want things for yourself.  This note really touched me... for someone to take time to write meant a lot. 


I see the old doorknob now as it was meant to be seen... as a way to our future...we have to turn the old knob to the past and open the door to the future, but we have to turn it and open that door... no one else can do it for us no matter how much they would like. 


The future... my future... what does it hold... or better yet who hold it? I'm afraid I feel like I'm in a dark abyss at times not knowing which way is up or down or left or right.  Walking aimlessly and getting no where, but now I don't feel so alone for I know now that there's others that feel the same... again I go back to what I said about the old doorknob... we have to turn it and open the door to let the light in. 


I have seen the other side of the door through others and the other side looks good.  (Now I'm NOT talking about "The Other Side") ... haha .. I'm talking about the other side of this door we keep closed and sometimes locked in our heart... someday... someday...


To the person that sent me the note... Thank You for taking the time to let me know I'm not crazy... nor am I along with my feeling.  Thank you so much.