Today - July 30 -- years ago

This is the sunrise from this morning- 07/30/2009.

It was a year ago I started this blog and I look back now and wonder where this past year has gone.

All day today I when I would look at the clock I had memories of the time on the clock from many years ago and thinking what I was doing at that time.. around 10 or so I remember washing my car... around 12 Doug made it to Moms... and so on. I can't remember what I did 10 minutes ago most times, yet I remember this date as if it were unfolding before me...

I try to let the pass go, but something’s aren't that easy to forget. Maybe this date next year will be a little easier. Here it is barely pass 6pm and all I want to do is just go to bed.

I went out on the GEO site and got some new hides and wanted to go hunting this afternoon. I even got new batteries for my GPS, but I can't get out. I can't explain it... I just don't want to do anything. I had planned on going to watch the Battle of Mobile Bay this weekend ... but the whole time I was planning it I knew I wasn't going to go. If it were possible I don't think I would ever leave the house. My friends tell me to go do things... I know they mean well, but I can't... I find no pleasure in doing anything. I don't know what's to become of me.... I'm afraid if I retire like I want to I'll really go down hill. I just don't know what I want anymore and that is a bad feeling.

Erase?

Off and on all day today my mind has drifted back to a Friday many years ago. I try not to think about the past to much, but same dates just bring things to mind.

I've wondered if it was possible to erase memories would I do it? I really don't know if I would or not.

I'm going to try and not think about it to much tomorrow, but here again some things aren't that easy to... We'll see....

Our Playing Field

I'm so tired of the playing field we have to live on... It's really amazing what some people can get away with while others are call racist.

Can anyone imagine what would have been said if President Bush had made the same comment that Barack Obama said at a White House news conference last week that Cambridge police "acted stupidly" in arresting Gates.

I’m tired of people like Gates playing the race card every time something comes up. It’s always we must not look at color, but just let something happen and boy then the color thing come into play big time. So what Gates has nearly 50 honorary degrees … hey I bet I can but the same ones online and they would carry the same weight.

We’re never going to get over the race thing because of things like this. Take a long hard look at this and you will see who the true racist is and it’s not the cops that Obama said "acted stupidly". BE SURE TO REMEMBER THOSE WORKS "acted stupidly" AND WHO SAID THEM.... and above all remember it's not about race....