Last night was one of those nights where every time I closed my eyes I had dreams. The dreams were of people saying mean and hateful things and then being rejected and tossed to the side.
I guess with little Charlie being in the hospital and then tropical storm Lee coming in just had my mind in overdrive or maybe it’s something deeper that caused this. Maybe it was the idea of failing and being left to drift alone.
Alone… there’s times we wish to be just by ourselves --- just to sit and think or sometimes just to sit and then there’s times we’re alone and it’s like the sound silence is so loud that it hurts our very being and then there’s times were with others yet we’re all alone. It’s hard for some to image how this feels and as hard as it is for them to understand it’s just has hard for me to try to explain so I just go with the flow… I never express how I feel most days… I just keep it all inside and every now and again when I have nights like last night I just have to come here and try to write it down so I can try to get it out.
Beauty… things I see as beauty others may see as nothing more than a mere picture, but just remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder… and through my lens I try to see the beauty in everything.
This is why my dream troubles me so… it was so ugly, so vile, and even thro it was just a dream it made me think if others could really feel this way.
I’m trying to break out and learn to find what makes me feel good. Like this picture I shot this morning. Nothing makes me feel better than being able to capture things like this… it’s something at no one can copy… it is my picture and there will never be another like it. I know most want see the beauty in it, but for the few that do…
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