Dreams Again

I had another dream this week. The dream wasn't one were people died or got hurt, but it was one of those dreams where I was with friends, but I didn't know any of them. We were laughing, talking and just having the best time... then I woke up. It was so disappointing to realize it was only a dream. This whole week this dream has been on my mind and I can't seem to forget it and it has made me feel so bad for some reason... I can't put my finger on just what it is or why... and I really hate feeling this way. Last night I couldn't sleep and part of it was I kept trying to remember the people in the dream and what impact they may have had on me to make me think of them... I just can't let go of this and I don't know why. Maybe it's caused from worry or stress. All I do know is that it was a party and it was so much fun to laugh.... maybe I really am going over the edge.. if over the edge is like the dream let's go... maybe being crazy isn't as bad as we think it is. hahaha...

The picture is one I took a couple of weeks ago when I went to Mom and Dads for the church reunion... We had a little party Sat night and when I left that night I knew I could go to church Sunday morning... there was something inside of me hurting from seeing all my old dear friends... and I just couldn't stand the pain... for some reason I felt like I was on the outside looking in...my friends did nothing to make me feel this way.. it was all me... in a way I feel like I've lost everything... it's something I can't explain.. but the hurt I felt was real.   There's times I just sit here and wonder... wonder about the meaning of it all and how things came to be as they are... I try not to think about it to much... maybe I'm just tired... that's it ... I'm just tired...