Smoke Signals and Sleepy Pawpaw

 

July 7, 2025

Charlie and Trent love to stay with me when Trent comes home to visit. It was actually because of a funny story I told Lauren last week that she insisted I start writing in my journal again.

One day last week, we had been fishing all day. I was hot, sunburned, and worn out. To make it even worse, a few days earlier I had bent over and thrown my back out, so by the time we got home I was more than ready to lie down and hope the pain would ease.

After I took a shower, I told the boys I was going to my room to rest while they played their Xbox games. My back was finally starting to feel better, and I was just drifting off to sleep when suddenly I smelled smoke.

Let me tell you — that’s never a good sign when you’ve got two boys loose in the house! I jumped up and ran into the kitchen, asking what on earth was burning.
Charlie looked at me calmly and said, “I was just trying to light the oven.” He went on to explain, “That’s how we do it at the hunting camp, Pawpaw. You turn it on, wait for the click, and then light it with a paper towel.”

All I could do was laugh.

Until you’ve had grandsons running around your house at night, you haven’t truly lived. At least now that they’re older, I’m not as worried about going to sleep — last year they pulled all kinds of pranks on me while I was trying to rest!

I just hope that many years from now, they’ll remember these wild, funny nights with Pawpaw as some of the best times of their lives. I know I’ll carry these memories with me forever — right up until my very last day.

A Grandfather’s Catch-Up

 

July 7, 2025 Monday

Good morning once again after a long absence. My daughter, Lauren, suggested I start journaling again after something funny happened, and the more I thought about it, the more I knew she was right. My last entry was July 12, 2021 — almost four years ago to the day. I’ll have to go back and read what I wrote back then, but in the meantime, a lot has happened over these past four years. I'll try to catch things up.

I’ve welcomed three new grandbabies: Mya, Beaux, and Kobe. We only got to hold Mya for a short time. When she opened her eyes for the first time, she was resting in the strong and loving arms of Jesus. Beaux will be 5 this year, and Kobe will be 4. In addition to these blessings, I now have a great-grandson, Colton, who will also turn 4 this year.

When Colton was born, all the daycares were full and not taking new babies. That’s when I asked, “Do you think I can keep him?” Meaning: Do you trust me? (LOL) For two and a half years, we played almost every day and built a bond that means the world to me.

Two grandsons have graduated from high school now. I think back to all those mornings I took them to school, listening to them laugh and carry on in the back seat… It feels like just yesterday. Gage, Colton’s dad, is working at Ingalls Shipbuilding and doing a great job raising Colton. Noah graduated this year and will start college next month. He plans to go into nursing, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up doing mission work one day.

My other grands keep Pawpaw pretty busy. McKenna, my oldest granddaughter, along with Trent, Beaux, and Kobe, live in Texas, so I don’t see them as often as I’d like. But we stay in touch. McKenna just turned 15 — something I can hardly believe. When they moved to Texas, she was a shy little girl, but now she’s a confident and strong young lady. Trent turned 13 this year and is visiting with us now. Right now, he and Charlie are out fishing. I went with them 3 or 4 times last week, but Pawpaw can’t quite keep up with two teenagers! I told them I’d join them later this week.

Charlie — let me tell you about him. He was born early and was so small that my thumb was bigger than his foot. Now, 14 years later, he’s taller than me and loves to hunt and fish. This boy knows how to work! I couldn’t keep up with him if I tried. He doesn’t quite understand why I can’t back or run the boat. I keep telling him that all my fishing was done from the riverbank. We didn’t have boats or wide-open water like he does today.

Caroline — my sweet, tender-hearted girl. She’s 12 this year and will start junior high, joining the school volleyball team. I’m so proud of her.

Mollie — my little firecracker. She’ll be in 5th grade this year and will also be starting at a new school. Mollie will tell you exactly what’s on her mind — no filter! (LOL) She loves soccer, and that little girl can run!

Colton — as I said, he’ll be 4 this year. Watching him grow up has been one of life’s greatest joys for me. With my other grands, I worked full time, but with Colton, I got to be there for so many of his firsts: first smile, first time rolling over, first step. And if you need to know anything about monster trucks, I promise you, he can tell you.

I don’t mean to brag, but I have such a strong relationship with my girls and grands. It means everything to me. They know they can call me any time, for anything — and I can do the same with them.

Well, that gets us mostly caught up since 2021. Now I can start sharing my daily life again — including the funny story that made Lauren laugh so hard and led her to tell me I needed to start writing again. I may not write every day, but I’ll do my best. I’ve been through a lot, and maybe sharing will help someone else, too.

I don’t know what I would have done without my girls.

Looking back over these years, I see how each moment — the joyful ones and even the hard ones — has woven together into the life I have today. Watching my grandchildren grow, sharing quiet talks with my daughters, and finding new ways to see the world through my camera has all reminded me that I’m still becoming, still learning, still living fully.

I know there will be more ups and downs, but I also know now that I’m never truly alone. I have my family, my memories, and my lens to keep me connected to what matters most. If someone had told that young man on the visitor tower in 1976 all that was ahead, he might not have believed it — but I wouldn’t change a thing.

Here’s to whatever tomorrow brings.

 

 

July 12, 2021 – Monday
“Looking back through life you will find the pleasure of achieving your dreams is always greater than the pain you met while achieving them.” ~ Moffat Machingura
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Good morning – I know it’s Monday, just think of all the pleasure you will have when you walk out of work this afternoon... your DREAM of making it though this has come true. Wishing Lauren a very good day as she starts her new job today… I’ll be thinking about you today – you are going to do a great job.  

45 years ago

 July 11, 2021 – Sunday

On a Sunday afternoon 45 years ago today I packed my suitcase with my best clothes, which was not much, and when I got to the intersection Whitesand Road & HWY 13 I turned SOUTH.   Little did I know that afternoon, but I was about to start a whole new life and what would become home as I was headed to THE COAST.  Where I am from Gulfport, Biloxi, and Pascagoula was all lumped together as “The Coast”… the place we would come down for the day and play on the beach and pick up shells now knowing they had LIVE hermit craps living in them. 

Here I was starting a new job at the hospital being the third shift computer operator… If you had looked up CLUELESS I’m pretty sure my picture would have been on the page. Working nights and I couldn’t sleep, didn’t eat and was so homesick all I wanted to do was get back above I-10 and find a job.  A year later I got married and a year after that we had our first little girl.  This time if you had looked up CLUELESS you would have seen both of us. Here we were with this little girl and didn’t have any idea how to care of her. I think Ginger stayed on the phone with my Mom a lot… I was still working nights still could not sleep and still wanted to get back above 1-10 even above HWY 98 way above… We made it and Melissa survived somehow.  After about 7 years I got promoted to Lead Operator working days and made new “day” friends.  Friends that took an interest in me and started teaching me COBOL.  I soon found out I enjoyed writing computer programs and I was making life much better and easier for the night shift operators with what I had learned.  The night shift is when all the real work was done, and I do mean WORK. From there I have got Oscar Beck to thank for believing in me and giving me the chance to go into programming.  I got promoted to programmer, got a house then came my second daughter, Lauren.  Couple of year latter I was promoted to programmer analyst and yeah you guessed it … my third little girl, Mary.  I am glad I didn’t want to go for manger… LOL   Years went by Melissa became a RN BSN and is a manger in Surgery at the hospital. Tomorrow, exactly 45 years to the day I started, Lauren will start working at the hospital in the IPS Department.  Mary now lives in Cameron, LA and is a FULL Time Mother.  When I left 45 years ago never did I dream that I would have 3 daughters, 3 sons-in-law’s, and 8 grandkids.  If I could go back and ride with my young self today, I think all I would tell the young me is that the road want be easy, there’s going to be some hurts, some setbacks, lots of whys, but BOY you just wait and see how it’s going to turn out --- you just will not believe it.
 

I saw Dad

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.”   ~E.A. Bucchianeri

September 2, 2015 – Wednesday

For the first time in a long time I had a dream about Dad this morning. He was so young and so full of life.  I was fussing to him about the person that cuts my grass had cut down my milkweed plants.  Dad did look good oh… not sure what he told me because Cody jumped up on the side of the bed and I realized I had over slept.  I wonder what triggers dreams like this. There’s nothing special about the dates and I didn’t do anything yesterday that I would have triggered it.   There’s times I wish I knew how to trigger dreams like this just so I could see them again.

Back Once More

“life without love, is no life at all” ~ Leonardo da Vinci

August 29, 2015 – Saturday

It’s been awhile hasn’t it?  Time has a way of going by so fast yet it never goes faster than 60 seconds per minute… funny had that happens.  Ten years ago today, a Monday, so many lives were turned upside down and so many families lost love ones when Katrina hit the Gulf Coast.  I was at the hospital my kids were spread all over or so if felt.  I wasn’t able to hear from them and that was one of the worse feeling I had ever had.  Ten years and yet I can remember somethings about it as if it where last week.   It’s kinda funny that I’m sitting here and I’m having problems getting in touch with the kids.  Guess that goes with getting older – just not needed as much.   I retired in December of 2013 and things were going good or so we thought until October of 2014 when the news broke that the hospital had not being paying into the retirement system.   As of today we, the retirees aren’t sure what is going to happen.  For over 8 months I wasn’t able to sleep worrying about it and at one point it even go so bad I wasn’t able to pick my camera up.  The one thing that I loved to do, I couldn’t.  I wish I could say I’m back to 100% with my photography, but the fact is I’m still having a few problems and at times I just have to force myself to get up and go shoot.  When I do go out, I enjoy it, but still way back in my little brain there’s that fear that I still may lose everything – and that is such a sinking feeling.  This morning I went over to Bayou La Batre to shoot.  The weather was great and I really enjoyed it, but I must say this as much as I enjoy shooting and seeing things the way I do there’s something missing.  I get so tired talking to myself and getting the same reply.  HAHA
While I’m taking about my pictures --  Debi Lane has gotten me to a couple of art and craft shows and even join the South Mississippi Art Association.  Now here’s the big thing... Wade, the president, has asked me to give a program on the 8^th.  It may be a train wreck, but I’m looking forward to it.  At least I’ll get go show off some of my work to people that hasn’t seen it.  Well I hope I can start and keep this up again.   

January 11, 2014 -- Saturday

You can't postpone sorrow, so why would you postpone happiness? ~Robert Brault

---------

Sometimes I think I live right on the edge of happiness, but it’s a place with high walls and a locked gate.  I have a key that fits in the lock, but it want open the gate.  On the other side I hear people laughing and making plans while on this side I just hang my head and ask why… Why can’t I be happy… what am I doing wrong?  Maybe I’m to live a life alone and never know a smile again. Is this the way one should live their life?  

Light from the Darkness

When one door of happiness
closes, another opens;
but often we look so long at the closed door that
we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
~ Helen Keller

I often wonder if at some point and time I would ever be happy again. There have been times I felt like the darkness would over take me so why fight.  It's very strange that just when I feel the night is the darkest there's a streak of light of hope breaks through. 

Sunrise Sept 01, 2013mj

Happy

 All God’s angels come to us disguised.
~James Russell Lowell 

July 30, 2013 -- Tuesday

Today I’ve had one of the best days I’ve had in way to long…. My dear friend
Sundra came down yesterday to visit friends and we had dinner together last
night. Sundra is one of those friends I may not see for a year of more, but when
we see each other it’s just like we had seen each other just a day or so ago.
Being alone all the time one sometimes forgets how it feels to laugh and how
good it is to have someone talk to. In the past few years today has always been
a bad day, but today I’ve felt more alive than I have in a very long time. I
wish everyone could have a "Sundra”… someone that likes you for who you are and
wants nothing from you but your true friendship.

Sunrise Today

April 08, 2013

The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and
we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and
we only know them when they are gone.  ~George Elliot

When I got up this morning the morning sky was all cloudy and dark for the most part and just before I was about to leave for work I looked out back and saw this bright orange/yellow sky. I just had to get a picture of it… I was thinking how I could possibly use it in a slideshow at some point.

When I got to work I read where Margaret Thatcher had passed away. Mrs. Thatcher was a strong lady and I feel she was a good leader. I’ll always remember how she stood with President Ronald Reagan.


When I got home this afternoon I learned that Annette Funicello passed away also today. Annette was an original Mouseketeer. I like what she said :

She remembered in 1987: "Mr. Disney said to me one day, 'Annette, I have a favor to ask of you. I know all the girls are wearing bikinis, but you have an image to uphold. I would appreciate it if you would wear a one-piece suit.' I did, and I never regretted it."


Now I know why the sunrise was so nice… Heaven was opening its gates for two great ladies.