33 and counting

It was 33 years ago today that I started working for Singing River Hospital as a third shift computer operator. The computer was a Honeywell 3200 and I think all the memory it had was less than 500k. Really... Those were the days...

Yesterday I shot a wedding with Debbie in Gulfport at a little place call Magnolia Plantation. We had the best time and the couple was just great... very easy going and anything we suggested they went along with it.... and some of the shots we did outside and let me tell you it was hot and never once did we hear any of the wedding party complain... I can't wait to see the pictures once Debbie get them edited and posted.

Like I was telling Debbie yesterday, anytime I'm behind the camera I'm happy. It may be shooting a sunrise at 6am or bees on flowers or something as special as yesterday....

I've had people tell me that there's no way they would shot a wedding... well me I enjoy it... you never know what the wedding will bring with it... like yesterday when Dad had his dance.. both almost started to cry... it's the little things like this I try to capture and save for all times...

I wish I could just step out and start my own business, but for some reason I just can't take that first step.. I know I keep saying I'm going to do it, but I'm afraid I'm going to wake up one morning and realize that my dream will never be because I waited to long and I've become to old..

I have a hard enough time as it is without charging people.. if I were to charge I never would do any pictures.. hahaha .... How do I get people to take me serious??... maybe if I were to set a price and I mean one at meant something that would help... that's kinda what I've heard anyway.

Oh Well ... we'll see want we....

When will this day be over?

Well I've made it almost thru the day. I don't know why, but holidays just make me feel so down. I can't stand the feeling.... I can't do anything when I feel like this. I'll be glad when Monday gets here and I can go back to work. What on earth will I ever do when I retire?

On the plus side I hear thunder and the sky is somewhat dark so maybe, just maybe we'll get some much needed rain this afternoon/ tonight.

Lauren just called to tell me they were home from the island and said the seas were bad coming in. Maybe it will move this way.

(the picture is of a cotton square)

Happy 4th of July

This is Cody keeping watch for me.

I can't believe the year is over half way gone already. I look back and wonder just where has the time gone and think I haven't done a thing this year. Well this isn't totally true... Ive stepped my photography up a bit but trying new things.

This time last month I was getting ready to shoot my cousins wedding in Pearl. I was thinking it was going to be a little small wedding... wrong... this is where I learned something also.. after shooting so many weddings with Debbie and Elaine, it's a lot easier when you have 2 people shooting. I almost worked myself to death, but I enjoyed seeing and being with family I haven't seem in years.

Next weekend this time I'll be getting ready to go help Debbie shot a wedding in Biloxi. I like it I can just go and be a worker and not have to bring all the prints home and edit and post them. I say this, but I think I really do enjoy sitting here going thru the images and remembering the special shots. I don't mean the ones where the wedding party is on the stage... when I get to work for Debbie and Elaine I'm free to look for those little special moments... a tear here a warm hug there... but I can only do this when I'm shooting for someone else.. other wise it's me that has to make sure everyone is on stage... I like the other better.. lot less stress... but when it comes down to it ... there's not a thing I don't like about photography... babies, birds, bees, flowers, weddings, sunrises / sets... you name it.

Well today what will I do... I'm afraid I've got nothing planned... other than to try to stay cool...

I'm Over it

I can't stand it anymore.. I've got to speak my mind...

I'm so tired of hearing about Michael Jackson. I'm so tired to hearing and reading what a great peron he was. What the hell... He was a singer and dancer... I don't know of one thing he did that made this world a better or safer place. What really makes me mad is when he is being made out to be some kind of hero.. People... what kind of values have we lowered ourselves to? He sure wasn't a roll model I would want for any of my kids...

What really made me upset was when the all great Obama said he was sending a personal note to the Jacksons... Did he send the family of Farrah Fawcett , or to any of the familes soldiers that were killed, but yet he can take time to send a letter to this family...

Again I ask-- were are our values??

One other thing I'm seeing is true... there's no justice in our court system. If you're a "star" you can get away with pretty much anything. I feel as if MJ had been tried as a "John Doe" he wouldn't have died at his home last Thur... he would have been locked away for the rest of his life on the charges that were brought against him. Where you see smoke there's a fire... and I feel the jury just looked the other way and was willing to let the house burn down rather than to take a stand and put the fire out.

Farrah Fawcett

I am told that we, humans that is, are the only living thing that understands that one day we will die. Sometimes that day seems to come to fast. Thursday, June 25, 2009 was one of those days. At the age of 62, Farrah Fawcett left her worldly pain behind.

In the 70’s Farrah was a TV star on one of the hottest shows on at the time… “Charlie's Angels” and then came her famous red swimsuit poster. I watched a video where the photographer was talking about the shoot that day. He was laughing and saying that he had shoot over 200 shots that day with different swimsuits and then she put on the red one… and for the background he used is old truck and to cover up some holes in it he used a blanket he had… once she posed of the shoot he said he made a couple of pictures and told her it was over… he had the shot he was looking for.. and this he did..

There was just something about Farrah, she was just a beauty. I’m afraid she will be remembered only by the 70’s group and soon she will be forgotten for ever. I guess to be remembered and have people make a big thing over you; one had to be a freak. This also happen Thursday, Michael Jackson died. One would think he had been the only entertainer on earth the way the news is playing up his death. I know what the jury said in his child cases, but I also know what money and being ‘famous” can do to a jury. If the same facts were put out in a table before a jury on some blue collar worker I believe that today that they had on Jackson, that person would never see the light of day as a free person ever again. Oh well, Thursday was judgment day…

Gone

This is kinda the way my world is now, mostly dark and void of life.

It's been a week and today is the first time I opened your door. The shock of a bear room hit me so hard it almost took my breath away.

Almost everything you took were yours, but one thing you took was my heart. Now, what's left of my heart is heavy and sad. I've cried enough to fill a river and would gladly cry it again if you would just come home where you belong.

I always thought I had raised you better than I guess I have. You have no idea of the pain that I've had... It's my hope that I live long enought for you to see what I've been trying to tell you.

As I've told you over and over... the door is always open for you to come back home. You have on I idea how I miss you and the love a Dad has for his little girl.

Love you,

Dad

What Now?

What a week.... Tues night I watch my last little girl walk across the same field her two older sisters walked across. There was so much pride and there was also a lot 'what now' in me. My little girl is growing up and it want be long she also will be out there on her own. It's as things are ment to be, but I'm sure I'll feel a since of loss.

The girls all went to Orange Beach this week and with Mary being going the old house is just that an old house. Even thro most of the time she's out and about I know that she'll be home and that when she comes home I'll hear her say 'I'm home Dad.. I love you'... then and only then can I go to sleep. Now I think that it want be long and this also will only be a memory for me to look back on.

Today I heard something again that really hit me... we were talking about Mary going to school this fall and that I would pay for it as there's no way she could get any help... (don't get me started on this), but anyway someone said that their kids had to get the money themselves... it was them that was going to benefit from going to school... and it's not this person didn't have the money.. My God.. I would and I do give my kids my last dollar.. if there's anything I can do to help them get ahead in this life I'll do it.... it's only money and I don't know anyone that takes a cent with them... not that I would have any to take anyway...

I guess tonight I'm just feeling a little down.... I'm not sure how I could explain it... I just feel like life is passing me by.... I'm alive and that's about it.... there's no LIFE...

Pascagoula High School Class of 2009

Well Mary Kathryn... your time to shine has come baby. Yesterday at church when you walked in a million things went thru my mind and all of them were about how proud of you I am.

Mary, I know high school wasn't the best time for you as friends go, but you took the high road and didn't go down the to the levels of others. I know there were times your so called friends hurt up, but you never stopped caring about them. Mary these are the very things that Bro Ben was talking about yesterday... The things that make you special.. I know something about you that everyone that has meet you and all those that will ever met will come to find out... Mary Kathryn you are very special. You have beauty on the outside that is 1000 times more on the inside. You care about people, even the ones that have hurt you. You, Melissa, and Lauren are the most caring people and I hope you will never lose this love of others.

Your Mom and I are so proud of what you've done and we look forward to see what you will do. Mary... always remember what Bro Ben said yesterday... reach for the stars... there's nothing wrong for wanting big things... dream big dreams, but always live in the real world. I know there's nothing you can't do Mary I've seen you work... You have the 'CAN DO' attitude.

One last thing Mary.. remember Bro Ben said yesterday that the pepole sitting behind you'll in church would always be there for you... There's nothing on this earth that would ever stop my loving or helping you... You just always remember the road that leads home...

Love you baby girl... Dad

Years going by

May 12, 2009 ---- 35 years (1974) ago May 12 was on a Sunday and it was Mother's Day. How do I know this.. well for me it was a big day... it was the day the class of Prentiss High School took there last look and walk as students at the school.

It's hard to believe it's been that long and tomorrow my youngest, Mary Kathryn, will all but end her years at PHS (Pascagoula High School).

These past 35 years has been full of ups and down like everyone has. I would like to look back at the old class of 74 and tell them that I made it. maybe I didn't make it as for as some, but I went further than most. Two years after walking off the football field I walked away from Prentiss to start a new life here in Pascagoula. By no means was it easy, but I did and I'm thankful to say I got three great daughters and two grandsons now.

Now with almost 33 years in at the hospital I'm looking forward to a somewhat early retirement. I can't help but look back at and wonder what happen to the all of the Class of 74. I do know that some of my class mates are no longer with us. Cindy passed away last year I was told.

To all my old class mates at PHS .... I hope your pass 35 years has been as good as mine has been.

Mother's Day 2009

I went up yesterday and spent the day with Mom and Dad. I showed Dad pictures of Cody. Dad told me that Cody looked like another little dog from a story book, but now I can't remember what he said the little dogs name was.

While I was there I tried to shoot some pictures of dragonflies. I guess if I want to do shoot theses kinds of pictures I'm going to have to get a mico set up... most of the shots were fuzzy in key places. There's times I think I should just give up.

Thinking back on Mother's Days past.. May 12, 1974 was Mother's Day it was also the day the Prentiss High class of 1974 graduated. I remember it was a very warm afteroon on the football field. I look back with amazement.... where did the past 35 years go.... and I think if I have 35 more years I'll be lucky.

I just feel my photography work isn't going anywhere. I'm beginning to think that it's not good and I'm afraid to take a job. All my life I've always lived with the idea that I'm not as good or my work isn't as good as the other persons. I just hope the girls didn't get this gene from me. This is a very bad way to feel and to live.

Well this is Mary's last few days at Pascagoula High... I think she told me that Wed will be her last day of classes.